PLEASE

Funny how hope and love can be

So much more brutal

Than betrayal and lies

I'll take that former kind of pain any time

Much easier to cope with

Than to sit here and hope with

And already tattered heart

Scattered apart in pieces

Reassembled my dream is

Frightening

Intimidating

Overwhelming

Scaring this man in recovery

Hope beyond hope

That this love in me

Actually means something

Don't want to be ancillary

I want to be legendary

I want to be primary

Try to look at things objectively

But I lack objectivity

It just beats and beats and beats

Thumping in me

Busy bodied activity

Helps me breathe

Or at least helps to deceive me

From thinking

From loving

From hoping too much

Out of touch -

Keeps the distance

Yet my insistence

Keeps persisting

I see it right over there

Reflecting

Looking off to the distance

Introspective and belligerent

Warring for freedom

What I find inside

As my guide

Is misguided?

How could it be -

When it's right all the time?

It was right then

It is right now

And my right always will be

My right

Stop thinking

And start acting

Please