SEEING ME

Baptized by indifference

I'm just feeling out of sorts

Got no spark to hold my interest

No clever words for their retort

I'm just launched into this cycle

I spin around, then round again

With a heart that's searched for love

I'd now prefer

- a better friend

Spent forever - seeking, searching

I was naught for much too find

Gave it up to slave and suffer

Now I've found me

– Just-in-time

Now my confidence is beaming

Since I broadcast a constant glow

Now desire comes to find me

Yet I feel nothing

(To-and-fro)

Such a constant disappointment

For my forgotten – "better man"

Who had longed for love and laughter

Who had prayed for holding hands

He just stares at me with wonder

Wondering why I'm such a fool

For the love he'd sought to give me

Is just become another tool

Toward the wayward ways of women

And their constant spiral dance

The ones I want are lost to thinking

They are the ones - I cannot have

And yet those who stop to greet me

Cannot accept what I convey

They pass over this whole person

- In hopes the lesser me will stay

"I like that song – I've never heard it"

"I like your poem – just the same"

"I love that story – when you tell it"

"I love it when you say my name"

But they never really see me

They just perceive my outer side

Though the man who really IS me

No longer even tries to hide

I wear him on my sleeve

Where with discernment

- they could see

But I'm a reflection

Of their longing

So they're no longer

• Seeing me